I used to hate hard conversations.

Despise them.

Do you?

Who doesn’t?

But here’s the game-changer – you don’t have to hate them. Communication, good or bad, serves a serious purpose. It’s to connect. To innovate. To move forward. To create.

Even when you are having hard conversations, it’s because something needs to change to bring about positive change and in turn make you happier.

I recently discussed this with my client and the results were so transformational that I had to share.

Here are some ways to make it easier:

Find someone you trust (a friend or your coach) and describe the emotions driving the need for this conversation. It can be anger, frustration, annoyance, or dissatisfaction.

Insert negative emotions here __________.

Then describe the emotion you want to feel after the conversation and hopefully resolution. It can be relieved, weight lifted, or elated.

Insert positive emotion here ________.

Then detail your talking points about what the “problem” is you are presenting and here’s the key, be sure to come with the SOLUTION.  

Most of the time hard conversations are hard because of the conflict that can ensue. When you come into the interaction with the position of emotional energy you’ve worked on above, a lot of the tension will dissipate.

Then presenting the reason for the conversation (or the problem) and then the presentation of the solution, can prevent what is hardest about hard conversations. It’s when people feel attacked, judged, or offended that things turn.

Enter the room with a conflict resolution mentality and watch how much more positive the communication with unfold.

Hard talks feel unnerving but are often extremely clarifying. With compassion and courage, we can improve all our relationships through honest communication about even the toughest topics.

The connections we build make it all worthwhile.

Favorite post of the week:
Resilience is key by Evan Chi

Tip of the week:
Pre-presentation ritual

Mood booster:
Pure unfiltered bliss

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